Why is it when we say no to plans, they think we are selfish? In truth, we’re no good to others, if we’re not good to ourselves.
Let’s face it. Sometimes we are what’s making us miserable. We just can’t stop thinking about how so-and-so wronged us, or how our life didn’t turn out as we hoped. Negative thought processes —such as worrying, self-judgment, and fear of rejection —only keep us more miserable.
On my search for authenticity, I realized rather quickly that, instead of jumping head first, answering deep questions of self-identity, it’s actually best to start with the basics, like going to sleep at a decent hour and eating foods that have always been food. Science backs this up. These two factors have a huge impact on happiness. The thing is, other day-to-day circumstances also play a role in our mood.
And if these factors can make us miserable, there have to be others that will make us happy, right? Yes. So here are five self-care tips that can help you make it without faking it.
Are you ready? Hell yes.
1. Take a break from social media.
Most people won’t admit how much social media actually means, or has meant, to them. Except, social media tends to have a negative impact on our happiness. By choosing to take a break from yours —or simply changing the way you use it —you can actually boost your mood.
“After six years of heavy social media use, nearly every waking hour of every single day, it was time for a break,” recalls, Online Entrepreneur, Jason Zook. In short, he was fed up because he lost control. “I was upset with my diminishing social reach due to networks bursting at the seams with users. I also started to become cynical and jealous of people.”
So for 30 days, he quit social media cold turkey and implemented a self-imposed detox. What do you think the end result was? Zook’s productivity, attention span and clarity of thought all increased greatly. “I felt like I broke bad habits (refreshing feeds and checking notifications) in a very short period of time,” he explains. “If all of that can be done in just 30 days? It’s well worth trying.”
2. Change it up.
How are you supposed to improve your life by doing the same things you’ve always done? It’s hard AF. But if you can push yourself to overcome fear, you can approach life with enthusiasm. Because your perspective is the difference between an ordeal and an adventure, which I can attest to too.
So try doing the opposite to see how it feels. This will make your brain more flexible. And if a friend invites you out, pick a date and time that work for you.
3. Build meaningful connections.
Did you know we enjoy just about everything more when we do it with others? This is why one of the best things you can do for your happiness is to build meaningful relationships and social connections. To strengthen these bonds, practice kindness and gratitude towards the people you care about. And tell them if something is bothering you. I bet they care if you’re unhappy.
4. Find your purpose.
Who doesn’t want to feel like we’ve made some sort of positive influence in this world? I know I do. Sometimes we’re just uncertain of the type of impact we want to make. So why not explore exactly what gives you a sense of purpose and how you want to pursue this purpose to give your life a greater sense of meaning.
For example, to boost your baseline-level happiness, you can try changing your body’s biology through nutrition and exercise. To maintain your happiness, you have to get out of the house by adding variety to your happiness plan. So instead of breaking out your yoga mat alone, go to a class. You may even make a friend.
5. Stay mindful.
Sometimes we want to escape. I know I do. At times, the world seems dark and scary, but by practicing mindfulness, you can experience more fully, both the positive and the negative. As a result, you’ll feel more engaged.
If you’re running through life, anticipating what’s coming next, you miss what’s happening right now. Slow down. Instead of jumping, roll with the punches. Try starting your day with meditation. You may be surprised that this small change can actually alter how you go about the rest of your day.
When everything is said and done, it’s all about perspective —your attitude changes everything. Happiness is really just a state of mind. It’s all about small attainable goals that add up big time. Cut yourself some slack. It’s okay to sleep in and say no to an invitation every once in a while. But I’m challenging you to accept the next one. Because we can only grow when we leave our comfort zones.
xoxo,
macey bee
waytomuchtoosay 
As always, great advice! I think social media controls people way too much and more people need to take a LONG break from it. The only thing i do is my blog and it is great. It does post to my Facebook, but I do nothing else with Facebook!
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omg. i am too controlled by social media. i’ll close it. tell myself it’s done. then unconsciously i find myself opening it right back up. thank GOD for our blogs. 🙌🙌
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I get so tired of Facebook because people post everything about their lives. I do not have any other sites and will never have Twitter because some people have totally ruined it for me, I won’t say who though:)! Yes, our blogs are a true blessing and I am so thankful that I have been able to meet so many great people. You are definitely one of the amazing people I have been able to meet!!!
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i had to delete some of the apps off my phone for that exact reason! i feel like writing is a therapy, right? i’m so glad we found each other. it really is inspiring.
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Writing is definitely my therapy as well! I think I would have lost my mind a long time ago if I did not write. I am beyond happy we found each other and seem to be a lot alike!!
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i so agree. i’ve always been the type of person who has trouble expressing myself out loud. it’s like i can think of all these things to say but when it comes down to it, i can’t. as a result, i found writing. i couldn’t agree more beautiful. you’re like my new favorite person. hehe.
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I am so glad to hear that I am your new favorite person as you really are mine as well!!! I value all our chats! Oh and you asked on fb about how my hubby and are I doing, the man is so hateful right now and I know why, but it isn’t my fault for Godsakes!!!
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you legit are. was just talking to my bf about that exact thing. he says he’s so down to fly us there!! he said “let’s add add it to the rotation” haha. BUT omg girl. i need the deets. i’m so sorry!! so frustrating when you’re being seen as the bad guy when that’s clearly not the case. it’s definitely not your fault but regardless, we’re allowed to make mistakes. you know i’m here if you need to vent more. try some deep breathing and cry/ yell if you need too. i’ve found that if you can breathe into your hurt like literally sit with it, acknowledge out loud the physical pain you feel, still sitting with it then breathe out and release those feelings. a lifestyle coach told me that. at the time i wasn’t sure but i tried it one time.. saying what was wrong verbally and really feeling it in my body helped me feel better.
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You always give great advice! I am doing my best with things. The biggest issue is, he has no idea how much this situation is hurting me. I don’t have the heart to tell him because he is already SO depressed. Thank you for being such a great and amazing friend!!!
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everything happens for a reason. and once the fresh feelings pass maybe you guys can talk. regardless i have your back and i’m here! 🙌💋🙌💋
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I have always believed that everything happens for a reason! Heck I am crazy enough to think that our stories our written before were even born and we just play the part! I think once my anger passes we will be able to talk more! I can’t talk now because of my frustration, but also because he is having intense tooth pain. It is also another reason he thinks he needs more meds. Seriously, thank you for all your support. You are a wonderful friend ♡
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i completely agree. life is crazy when you think about it. take as much time as you need! no problem at all in fact it’s my pleasure love. have a wonderful evening. and think happy thoughts only!
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I will do best! I really can’t thank you enough for your support and communication! You have helped me through some difficult times. For the most part I keep all of this bottled up, you are the only one that knows any of this.
I hope you have a wonderful and relaxing evening as well!
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