You have to kill it before it kills you. Your worst enemy. Your best friend. You hate it. You love it. You can’t live with it. You can’t live without it. You want to be happy. You should be happy, but you can’t take your finger off the trigger. Why? Because want and need are two different things.
It's over. It's been over for a while now. It took a lot to delete your number; even longer to block you on Facebook. I was still holding, afraid to let go. They say it gets easier each day. I know I wake up further from what I used to be. But some days are easier than others. If I were to say I didn’t miss you —that would be a lie.
If you knew my story, would I still have you? If you knew who I used to be, would you still love the girl I have become?
She sits there quietly, laying still; but her head is spinning. Her legs are crossed; pretending— that her life isn't ending, one li(n)e at a time. High off pills and potions; Oxy has this white girl lacking emotions. Externally, she's calm and serene. Reality —she's anything but clean; when playing her favorite role as trap queen.
Psychopath. Pyromaniac. Fake laugh. Body cast. Nicotine patch. Can I make it last? You mean no. You say yes. First place? Second best. High fashion? Worst dressed. Never right. Always wrong. Trying to find my voice. But I got no song. What's up, Donkey Kong? And when I still can't get it right, I try to remember —Brad Pitt. The club. Fight. I might, just win. Fuck this life of sin.
I was walking a tightrope between my old familiar behavior, and the life I thought I wanted. Little did I know, it was leading me to death. The new unknown path promised hope, but I didn't want hope. I wanted to get high. It was a dangerous time. In spite of my wishful attempts to better myself, one part of me —obviously the more influential part, always succeeded in undermining my good intentions.
Sadness sweeps through your buzzing brain, as you count what pills are left in your stash. 19. You’d have enough for today and tomorrow, but in all reality, you needed more. Tonight though, you had other plans.
Morals. What’s that? I was a junkie with survival on my mind. Sigh —there was nothing I wouldn’t do to get high. At the time, this girl had no name, even though I had a shit ton of pain. I know it makes no sense, but that's how I liked it. I know it's not fair; so I try not to care. Anyone up for a round of truth or dare?
There would be no real way of knowing then that I was about to create a storm that would soon ravage all in its line of vision. Everything, my world —up in smoke. Just when I thought I had conquered it all, when things couldn’t get any worse, I found myself lost, alone, and addicted.
Many pain patients are searching for anti-drug programs to relieve their constant discomfort without the chance of addiction or dependence. I mean, we're not asking for much, people. The thing is, there are literally over 100 million Americans forced to live with chronic pain —a disease that has no cure, an illness most people don't understand, a lifestyle too easy to judge, and as a result, our day-to-day obstacles normally involve pain and trying to uncover new ways to ease that pain. At the same time, our nation is simply overprescribed. So, here's one woman's story of how finding an opioid alternative changed her life as our nation struggles to do the same.
It's not new news that the U.S. is in the midst of an opioid epidemic, however, prescriptions have lost their driving status to illicit fentanyl and street heroin. Let's see what happened.
Pain patients everywhere are excited. They are excited for two reasons. Quality of lives and discomforted symptoms are improving. It's all thanks to CBD hemp oil, a.k.a. the super herb. And let me just say from personal experience, this plant is well deserving of its title because of the healing properties found inside. Think of marijuana without the paranoia. You feel calm, relaxed, and less susceptible to pain. And so, I spoke with a hemp manufacturer and real people with real pain to see how CBD has impacted their lives. This is what I found.
Those addicted to opiate painkillers are 40 times more likely to abuse or become dependent on heroin. Eventually, the pills become too expensive and people are forced to look elsewhere (in this case, the black market) for their pain relief needs. It's not something anyone wants to talk about, but it's happening whether society likes it or not. Here are all the DEETS.
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